my child in the faces of the hurting

how is it that in every video i see of the needs of the world, [such as http://vimeo.com/11138924] i see my daughter in each child shown. a young baby consoled by his mother, in need of food & water- and i see my daughter as she comes to my side for comfort when she isn't feeling well. a toddler standing without a single piece of clothing to keep him warm or dry & i think of my sweet girl coming out of the bath wrapped in a warm towel getting ready to be dressed for the day.

it has become far easier to understand the plight of the children in our world now that i have one of my own. i want everything for her. i would give anything for her & there are MILLIONS who have no mother for father to advocate on their behalf. no one to calmly understand why they are crying & fill their empty stomach or sooth them back to sleep. no one to keep away the monsters or scary dreams. no one to help them realize all that they were meant to be.

its times like these that i have to remember that when i'm in my comfortable home, with the needs of me & my family taken care of; that God is a God of Justice. He is on their side. He has networks of people who speak up for those who aren't being heard. i have to trust in God & do my part.


www.compassion.com

from a while ago

i've been going over old songs that i've written which seem more like poems now, but I thought I would include this one. Its from a few years back

Truth is a flower that blooms in the sight of the Son

And casts it beauty on everyone

You can pick it up or run it down

But this flower never withers

Light is that which casts out all darkness

And casts shadows or can show the way

You can give it or give it up

But this light (of life) will never die

Love is a sweet fragrance and perfume

Whose aroma fills the cracks left from hurt and pain

You can take it in and give it out

Because this fragrance never fails

Because you, you are all

You are the only truth out there, you’re the only light I see

You are the love in a burnt out world

And you’re calling to me, you’re calling to me

a little lost along the way

sometimes it feels like my heart is about to burst out of its cage & that's when i find there's no other option than to create something. whether it is painting, drawing, designing, songwriting, or simply putting thoughts into words... so, i created this blog.

have you ever had the feeling that the unique perspective & talent that you were meant to have, has been buried under the weight of the everyday life? the road you unintentionally paved over your hopes & dreams has brought you to some strange place where you wake up one day & wonder where the crow's feet around your eyes & larger pants size came from...

everyday you set out on that to do list, get the job done, eat dinner, care for the family & home & go to bed just to start the cycle over again.

but every so often i have to stop. this tension arises, & i feel it deep in my chest. it reminds me of the ongoing struggle within my heart to keep everything going- keep the household in order, be that stereotypical good mom, good wife, good friend.... or find out what it is that my soul is truly craving. this unlocked space in my being that desires to unleash unbridled creativity & beauty & reflect everything wonderful about the kingdom of God. ...but then again sometimes, i am just tired. tired of having to make decisions, tired of money, expenses & having to just get by.

i suppose it comes back to the balance of living in this world & desiring the next. working to pay the bills while longing for the life filled with miracles, signs & wonders. i know we were created to live in the presence of God, but what does that look like &  can that really be attained here on earth?


sometimes it feels like getting older is inevitably synonymous with prioritizing fiscal responsibility over some of the things that often bring far greater & long lasting joy. i'm tired of feeding the system of bills, taxes, healthcare, blah blah blah. i will because i don't want to get into trouble with the law that God has allowed to rule, but i feel like i've lost some of who i was before all of it seemed so important.

i remember how i used to be much more adventurous. go exploring, camping, have spontaneous fun with friends, play music & worship till the wee hours of the morning. there was something that was placed in all of our hearts before we were born to long for the authentic life we were meant to lead...

how do we get back to that? how do we allow the hardpacked layers of mediocrity, failure, misadventure & weariness to break forth into new life?

i don't know yet... but, i want to believe that it's possible.